I'm at City Blendz. Working. Having tea because I realize that coffee won't make me happy -instead it will suck the life out of my bones. Across from me are a group of older ladies. I played basketball against one of their daughters in highschool. There's 6 of them. Laughing, talking, agreeing, disagreeing, discussing how they want to live and die in "Home Sense" - the store. I am trying not to eaves-drop, but they are so loud. I turn up my itunes and wonder, "When I'm 55 and beyond, will I have girlfriends to talk to? Friends who have been around for ever . . " Right now there is some scandalous story, and heads are wagging and there's lots of "oh goodness . . oh my . . . ohh ohh" It's beautiful. Anyway. They don't seem the un-opinionated type who put up with each other. They seem like a bunch of characters like might play pranks on each other. I hope I have friends I can fight with when I'm 55, friends who love and listen and give me the gears when I need it or just to have fun with me. Friends who stick by me when things happen, good and bad. I hope I stick by my friends too. It's a decision and a willingness to do a bunch of work I think. It looks like it's worth it. I used to think that the richness that could accompany age (maturity) was a myth - that I could experience the depths of any and everything at the age of 22 and anyone who said otherwise was just jealous. But looking at what I see, and considering what I believe about God, I think things have the potential to get better. Always. And mind you I said POTENTIAL. I know we worship the feelings of love in this culture, but there is a beauty to commitment when it has been given un-begrudgingly. When it's been willing, sacrificial and full of the kind of love that is patient, kind, doesn't envy, isn't proud, doesn't boast and isn't easily angered instead of the kind of love that feels like fire and turns to hatred in a moment when needs aren't met and feelings aren't considered and when we've not been treated like a goddess. Thoughts.
Now they're talking about cats.
Now they're talking about cats.
Comments