Change. How. What. When. Why.. Why not.. But of course it can't be broken down (like we try to do to everything else) into some verifiable, 100% predictable 3 step process.. just follow the directions and BAM!! you are CHANGED! I read a quote that said something about how praying doesn't change God, it changes me. So I pray, but when I get up, no magic. HOWEVER!!! sometimes He does things and it impacts my brain, my spirit, my soul.. my something.. with truth that comes from so far outside of me, that I .. dare I say.. I change. He confronts something dark and hopeless inside me with truth, joy and opportunity. What I mean to say, He comes to my prison and offers freedom. Still, it happens over TIME and it usually is something I don't want to change, and so it usually hurts. When truth comes, even then, I have to choose it. I don't always. I usually only become willing to change when I can see my current way of being will make me my own enemy and put me into a prison no one can see and it's going to hurt me more than I already hurt. So then with an undesignated amount of effort, choices, fluke, opportunities, prayer and good people saying the right thing at the right time (AKA work of the Holy Spirit) and a miracle (fact that Jesus conquered death and his blood paid for stuff we don't even realize) and an unquantifiable amount of time and faith and maybe a bag of chips and a few other things, change happens from time to time.
Change, positive change, isn't common. New Years resolutions. Enough said. Becoming different matters though. Thinking differently (a mind increasingly more full of more truth, peace and a heart more accustomed to love that comes from God) 5 years from now would be super-slamtastic. So why doesn't Heidi change more? Like I said, it hurts and I have to give up some short term happiness for some long term freedom. Bah! I wish I could get outside of myself and be my own cheerleader. I've often thought I should get a bracelet or ring or ... something to signify that I want to change and to keep me on track, and every time I saw the ring I would say to myself, "Right... that's my symbol for change.." A friend of mine wore an elastic band and flicked herself every time she did whatever it was she was trying to no longer do. I would rebel though. I know. I've tried.
If I could put change in a cup, I wonder if I would be willing to drink it. What I want to do, even though I don't want to do it, I still do it. And yet, He says "from glory to glory" and that He won't quit, and "behold all things are made new." I'd rather Him be right than me.
Change, positive change, isn't common. New Years resolutions. Enough said. Becoming different matters though. Thinking differently (a mind increasingly more full of more truth, peace and a heart more accustomed to love that comes from God) 5 years from now would be super-slamtastic. So why doesn't Heidi change more? Like I said, it hurts and I have to give up some short term happiness for some long term freedom. Bah! I wish I could get outside of myself and be my own cheerleader. I've often thought I should get a bracelet or ring or ... something to signify that I want to change and to keep me on track, and every time I saw the ring I would say to myself, "Right... that's my symbol for change.." A friend of mine wore an elastic band and flicked herself every time she did whatever it was she was trying to no longer do. I would rebel though. I know. I've tried.
If I could put change in a cup, I wonder if I would be willing to drink it. What I want to do, even though I don't want to do it, I still do it. And yet, He says "from glory to glory" and that He won't quit, and "behold all things are made new." I'd rather Him be right than me.
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