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Showing posts from May, 2011
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Mom. Yes. this is my mom. Doesn't it look serene? Life can look so easy in pictures. And some times it is. I am stealing time right now... I am a mom. Incredibly, my children all nap in the afternoons. I am trying to co-ordinate the sleepage so as to have some time to myself. Sometimes I nap, sometimes I clean, but today... I write. Back to the mom stuff. It's the hardest job in the world. Well, I'm sure you could find something tougher if you wanted but this isn't a democracy where you get to vote and state your opinions.. it's a blog and I have the choke hold of power on this one :) I don't know if mom-love is possible to explain. I had no idea what it was until I became one, and that kind of makes me mad... I am frustrated for myself, having grown up all these years and not being able to realize, have the capacity to realize how much I was loved. The same for my kids. They get envelopes every morning (if they behave the night before) that are filled with diff...
And somewhere in there... something ... changed.. very, very subtly. Today I need to change, because yesterday I realized that I had developed quite a bad attitude towards my kids. Terrible, I know. I have been apologizing to them when I feel I have not been fair, or have been rude..etc, but I have not been changing. The thing that did it was this mom at the grocery store. She was letting her son push the buttons on the self check out, which is a cool mom thing to do, but her attitude toward him was awful. Reminded me of someone I knew.. someone I saw in the mirror the other day. I could blame many different things - perhaps first and foremost would be sleep deprivation or perhaps, familiarity. Anyway, my guys just woke up from their nap (a little too soon and they're both quite... neeeedy) so I gotta run. But they will see in my face and voice - love.. even when they're being ridiculous. .. well, I will turn my heart that way anyway.