So it's off to the island on a missions trip with the kids. Super excited. VBS. Camping, youth camp. Oh what fun it is to ride in a big white chevrolet. Try saying that word phonetically. Chev-ro-let. Funny.
I just thought I'd drop a line (cool saying huh) because it's nice to drop lines. Drop lines, not anchors. Not that I mean anything by that, but it could. In some big pep talk it could really go over nicely.
I think about "church" a lot. Someone asked me today, "Are you still going to the same church? How's that going for you?" (welcome to my blog - you the asker of my question. It's a good one. ) It's kind of funny. Some people love attending "church." Some people refuse. Some people were hurt by "the church" and now hate God. Some people go to "church" and criticize it. Some people go and don't think about it. Others run churches and don't think about it. Some run em and think about it.
but then I was just sitting this week and God said to me, "When you say, hear, read, think the word 'church' I want you to think of people." Imagine if we all did that. I've been starting to. So instead of thinking of this building that me and a bunch of people go to on a weekly basis and say hi, or don't say hi, and sing or hang out in the back, or whatever we do, think of people. I wonder when church became about a place instead of a people. I understand the need for organizing people when groups get big. That's fine. Logical. But it seems like we no longer organize out of necessity, we organize as a way of life: "i'm going to start a church" means I'm going go to this place and rent, build or buy a building and have services. How can you start a church? You are the church. What if we thought that way. maybe it's not a metaphor. Maybe we literally are the church. And ok, I don't mean maybe. We are the church. If we aren't, nothing is. I'm a temple. Not even a metaphor either.
Anyway. it's easy to be mad at the nebulous .."church" but how about getting honest and saying "these five people hurt me and I'm going to go back to them and deal with it." I never saw a building hurt anyone (except for the time I didn't see the curb they had just installed in a parking lot of the fabric store at the end of my street so I rode my bike right in to it and slammed into the nearby brick wall, scarring my right elbow severely). I think people hurt people. People hurt people. And so much of it is a misunderstanding. So much so that I want to go crazy. Given the proper timing and the presence of the Holy Spirit and his revelation, I think we could talk through so many of those misunderstandings. Ah but it takes so much effort and it's such a risk and what if they don't want to or what if they don't like me or what if they fake it and gossip behind my back while I go away thinking I did something good for once.. what if...
Well, i guess then you'd know where things stood. No confusion.
There's a fly buzzing furiously around my room. It sounds like a big one. Reminds me of that story I had to read in high school about the guy who was dying and how loud the buzz of the fly was. I bet I'm even wrong about the story and the guy and it was probably a poem.. Yes I am almost sure of it now. I wonder how many, like me, are waiting for life to change, as if it's a bus that comes and we just get on... but it's not like that.
So "how am I doing with that?" - church I mean. Well, how am I doing with the fact that i'm human and that beings like me populate the earth. How am I doing with the reality that I'm not perfect and that I cause people pain, and that I'm selfish and self centered, egotistical and bordering on mean? People. We'll never escape (on earth) that this is what we are. So, I guess it's a beautiful opportunity to humble myself honestly and continue on where I left off... which was being human and working through it with myself and others.
The fly just attacked me. Straight for my face. What, does it think my eyeballs are it's windows to freedom? Why can't they see doors? Then why do they just fly toward the ceiling, hitting it time and time again? Can't they "smell" their way outside?
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Love Sue