MAKING SENSE OF ANXIETY - A COURSE by GORDON NEUFELD - PART 1 IN A SERIES ON ANXIETY

What did we do what did we do? Pastor Jim preached at Pastor Borys Krysenko’s Messianic Congregation in Kiev at one of their retreats. It was about 3 or 4 days long (they merge after tiredness of flights and jetlag). I played and sang a couple of times. Rachel danced (Pastor Jim’s daughter. She’s in ballet.) These were long days of worship and preaching. Praying for people, dancing and talking with our new Messianic friends. It wasn’t a single church retreat, it was a regional retreat, so there were people from all over the Ukraine, Hungary, perhaps Poland and I can’t remember where else. When the retreat was over, we had Shabbat services. They have 2 congregations in different parts of the city. Rachel, Abigail & Jacob (a couple from Michigan who joined our team) and I went to the service that was smaller and was comprised mainly of younger people and Pastor Jim stayed with Pastor Borys and ministered there.

Our lovely driver, Vlad, upon observing a back up in traffic due to an accident and taking into account that we were going to be late to our service took an alternate route that turned out to be backed up as well. Not daunted, our fearless leader took us into oncoming traffic, flashed his high beams at the oncoming cars, who, if they saw us, got out of the way without complaint, but if they didn’t, honked and swerved last minute. I felt my life to be very precious in the moments. We arrived right on time. Barely.


They had worship. They had a full band, but the poor keyboard player didn’t have a sustain pedal on her keyboard. It is awkward and absolutely unrewarding to play an instrument in such a state. But we worshiped. As I recall, they did sing at least one song I recognized and so I belted out the English version of it with them. They took the offering and while they did, played the duck song. You know, the song they play at hockey games and everyone does the actions to it? Weird. But so much fun.


They turned the service over to us. Rachel danced. I talked and sang. Pastor Jim said for us to hit them hard with uncompromising truth and honesty. It was hard. Our translator was embarrassed and giggling. The people were a little rowdy. Here we were talking about something that has ravaged their culture and they were being silly. Ach! Then I sang. I heard people crying. I just wanted to keep on playing because I thought, “Finally, they’re letting the Lord break through.” But it had to end some time. Then Abigail spoke. Amazing. Again, however, the 19 year old translator was embarrassed to talk about sexuality. Understandable. The people giggled. Ach! But we pushed through. Jacob talked about an enemy who wants to steal. Lie. We called people up for prayer and they came. And we prayed. I played guitar.

The next day our translator talked to us and apologized for not doing so great a job. He also thanked us for doing what he did. It was so funny, he says, “You guys came in and you're not professional, or cool, you are just being obedient to God and being yourselves and it made such an impact on me and inspired me to be myself and do what God has called me to do.” Sort of funny compliment, but it was an important one. God’s always working even when people seem like they’re not really into hearing our message.


After our service, Jacob, Abigail, Rachel, Vlad and I drove back to the other congregation on the other side of the city. Pastor Jim had just stepped up to preach. Typical. Their worship must have gone on for at least 2 hours. I was sad because we missed all of the Messianic dancing. It was cold and many of us kept our jackets on. He preached. People responded. We prayed. The next day – our Sunday we went to a traditional Ukrainian church – what I mean is not Messianic. A man named Oleg led worship from a grand piano. That man can play. It’s the closest thing to classical worship that I’ve ever experienced. And they had a choir in Ukrainian uniform or costume, however you want to say it. One lovely saint of a babushka in the back row of the choir didn’t know a single word of any of the songs. She just “water-melon-ed” her way along with the biggest sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. They had a poet come sing a song to bring in the new year (they celebrate Christmas and New Years on different days than we do. I know. Can you believe that people deviate from the North American way of doing things?? Hah. ). A children’s choir in precious robes sang. One boy in particular must have been going through the change because his voice kept squeaking. How precious. Then their pastor preached, then Pastor Jim preached. Then we prayed for people and rushed off to the Messianic church to do the Lifeline Seminar. Pastor Jim preached for hours. Then we began to pray for people.


About 70 responded to come and get prayer. So much hurt. Abortion. Divorce. Abuse. Or simply the absence of parental pride, or someone to speak into their lives and affirm them, direct them. When Pastor Jim said he wanted to pray for marriages, he asked those who were married to raise their hands. Of the 70, maybe 5 lifted up their hands. Where are the married people? There were tons of older women, but no older men. Lots of young men and women, but no families. I sat and watched as I played my guitar and sang. Some people reached out to God. Others waited for someone to pray for them. Others stared straight ahead. Hard. Hurt. Daring God to just try and lift a finger to help them. Terrified to hope that somehow joy could come into their spirit. Unwilling to believe that God could lift their burden. Amazing that truth can come to all of us, but not everyone is ready to be free.