Erase. Erase. What is there to say? So much, but I am sure it is being said. Somewhere. Today I was driving to the airport and on the way I saw a lady with two kids, in a silver car. Why did she capture my attention? I don't know these things. But she did. And suddenly all my brain power was sucked down into the vortex of "what are we doing here?? Is this all we do? Get married and have kids. Get married and have kids. Your kids get married and have kids, and their kids get married and have kids." That's sort of how it goes. And yet in what might seem to be predictable monotony, there is LIFE. There are vast differences between one couple who gets married and has kids and the next couple who gets married and has kids. There is pain in the exact same places that others have joy. There is simplicity and purpose where others have questions. I know I'm not the master of my own destiny, but I am a partner in it. Makes me think that what I think really matters. Even if it only matters to me. Because nothing just matters to me. (No man is an island) - ([{I don't know where to put the period on this one. Any thoughts on how to punctuate here?}])

Life is funny. In the middle of all this expected predictability, there remains still that... anomaly. The oddity. But nothing is broken. The system still exists, but just not everyone fits... I know a "homeless" guy who lives on the streets because his house is too full of things that he's saving. Man, that's weird.

But do you know what I'm really thinking about? How we have a destiny, but we have to co-operate with God. Today I was listening to a message where the speaker said, "God gives you opportunities and watches how you handle them, because he doesn't want to build something on a faulty foundation that in the end will cause more harm than good." Of course he said it better than that. I am trying to recall the gist of his sentiments. And I think about my foundation. And all my flaws. And where I cut corners. And how I am less than forthright. And how I hide my weaknesses. And how afraid I am of so many things. And how many mistakes I'm making- and some of them deliberately. And how... and how. It's not an issue of salvation or of being loved. It's not even about God being mad at us. It's an issue of opportunity with Him where we really really really get to choose. So despite life marching on with seeming predictability, there is so much room for me to BE.. to CHOOSE.. to LIVE. But we have to be honest with ourselves - and let God in His grace and mercy do His work by the power of His Spirit in us.

God cut through the confusion and help us to LIVE.

Comments

Jenny said…
So, I know you want feedback on your blogs, and I sit here and think "what can I say? How can I comment"...and I don't know what to say. I want to come up with something witty and charming and thought provoking...but it's been too long since I've written. I agree with you and your assessment of life. We all work, but all differently. We all eat breakfast; some people have bagels, some have cereal, but essentially, it's the same thing. Yet somehow even in the monotony of somthing like eating breakfast, different things happen, and people are in different situations...So, I got married and am having kids, but to me, it's such a crazy thing, it's seems like I'm the only one it's happening to. And that's what's making it exciting. Because in the everyday occurance of someone being pregnant, there is in individual life inside, being created. It's own individual destiny. It's own name; it's own purpose. And deep down, I know that my baby is not just joining the world to eat bagels like everyone else.
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