I have decided to stop trying to be a good Christian. The thing is, I think you either are or you aren't. Can you be a GOOD Christian or a BAD Christian? Christianity is this funny term that's supposed to describe people who are caught up in Christ, full of love for Him and who know Him on such a real and personal level that they remind people of Christ. Is Christianity about being nice and doing devotions, or is it about feeling good while singing songs about God, or is it..? What is it about me that makes me "Christian"? I hate that I feel this strange satisfaction when I have read my Bible and prayed in a day. Even better if I had some thoughts to write in my journal. It's crazy. Those are symptoms of a relationship (hopefully) but where is the actual relationship? I know we can't see Him, but we can and do know Him. Ok, we can see Him, just in more subtle, mysterious ways. More to come, I hope. I hope I forget how to try and I just learn how to be His friend/daughter/sister/servant/bride/body.. all those fun metaphors we use to try to capture some of the ideas of what it is between us and God.

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