Married. Completely married off, I am. During intense times of prayer we say to God, "my life is not my own" . . . and we go on our merry way. But when we go on our MARRY way, ah... tis so true. Specially when "marry" includes two special guys under three feet tall with blond and red locks and merry eyes of blue.. well, the "fun" as we sometimes say, never stops. I think coffee shops miss me. I think the economy of space with cool atmosphere wonders, "where is that girl with her journals, mac, ipod, pens and Bible? Where is that girl that pondered here so often with her friends???" HAH! She is awakened daily by, "hellloooo.. OATMEAL!!!!!" and replies, "it's not time to get up yet" and so little feet traipse back to their little lairs. She goes to sleep and wakes up not alone. She is subject to inspection by probing eyes on each bathroom visit. "What's that? Why you painting your eyes? You cutting your eyelashes? Why you got that? Why you doing that?" Lovely. She is challenged. She is thriving. She is on the hugest learning curve of her life. She is overwhelmed. She is overcoming. She is loved. Did we mention that? Loved. Chosen. Singled out. Someone else will spend the rest of his life with her in his heart, her in all of his decisions, her in his mind, her in his time, her in his arms. What's it like? It's real. It's full of discussion, full of silent looks, full of mystery, full of understanding... full of learning. Fun. It's interesting that whatever marriage will be for her is up to the both of them. It could get better, it could sort of stay the same.. it could get lame.. it could.. it could.. It could what? It's up to us. What a daunting, exciting, challenging honor. I choose. It's impossible to be the perfect wife. I've already given up. Perfect mom too. Today for the first time I asked one of my little guys to forgive me for how I talked to him. I've apologized many times .. ok.. a bunch of times to my husband. Did you like how I just got to say that?? Husband. The pictures of the wedding were beautiful. I was beautiful. We were beautiful. And now that the day was over, I pray that we carry "beautiful" in our hearts. When my son saw a picture of me, he said "princess!" I hope so. I hope I treat him like a prince and his dad like a king. .. I mean, I aim to. Hope nothing. I endeavor. I repent and I keep on attempting. I am what I prayed I would be. . . all in God's perfect (GOOD and PERFECT) timing. Wow. Moment of silence and a big sigh . . .(I have snuck away and I will not disclose my whereabouts or timeabouts.. hah! I can hear the kids... they are preoccupied with family... family ; )
blessed
i am
it's a word
i rarely used
cause it seemed itself
used up
but now
when I say it
meaning bursts
like something too big
inside something too small
caught inside the walls
for too long
and now
wow
splam
and i am
saying
i mean it
blessed
just hit the fan
and I am so
happy about it
blessed
i am
it's a word
i rarely used
cause it seemed itself
used up
but now
when I say it
meaning bursts
like something too big
inside something too small
caught inside the walls
for too long
and now
wow
splam
and i am
saying
i mean it
blessed
just hit the fan
and I am so
happy about it
Comments
i've been waiting with great anticipation for your first blog entry as a married woman because i knew it would be something good. :)
i saw some pics on facebook and my oh my did you look stunning!
God is good!
your words testify that your cup does truly runneth over....
big hugs to you sudes. (i guess you're not even that anymore......ahh the changes...)
I was honored to watch it happen! Your wedding was the most powerful wedding I have ever been to and I have told many people that I imagine I will never be at one like it. I can only imagine God's sheer delight as He orchestrated the whole thing just for YOU. I'll continue to pray you through this time of transition. Your boys are adorable and you will be a wonderful mom! One of my favorite moments was watching you play during worship with a little friend perched next to you - precious!