I am downloading some sermons into my computer so I have decided to quickly blog. Everything was taking so long, but now suddenly I feel the pressure: 36 seconds remaining. Whatever. Dishes. Weeding. Laundry. Put my make up on. Sleep. Read my Bible. Play guitar. Write a letter. Blog. Read my emails. . . what are the things that are important? Today Noah ran inside 50 times saying, "Going to back up my car on the lawn" and Adam's asked about 47 times, "Daddy coming home for lunch? Is he going back to work?" I read some Bible and even saw some things I'd never seen before, but I feel a little sick because someone I don't know but who is my neighbor is hurting and I'm chicken. SHE baked us cupcakes and SHE gave us a baby carrier. . . and I am tucked away in my backyard. I will go see her but it will take me a little while. Dumb that it's so hard for me. I love my kids. I love my home. I love my husband. I love my life. Noah sang at the top of his lungs beside me today when we were playing guitar. Adam used the word "awful" today for the first time. Oh what joy is so here. Time to let it spill over the fence... while the laundry is left alone and bereft of my time and attention (first time I have used that word).
I live on a hill, in the most beautiful area I have ever seen. Yes, there are roads carved into it and houses stacked up right next to each other... but then there are trees. Mountains. Hills. Sunsets. I am so tired my legs are buzzing. My house is silent, except for my fingers tapping on the keys of my mac. My brain is aware of .. I don't know how many things. My friend who just texted me, a new friend whose email I just read, the pile of Christmas cake on the counter that I hate, but ate a little of because there was nothing else, and my voice - which is so tired. . . and I wonder if I was mean tonight and yelled too much - but what do you do to people who are goofing around. I want to be everyone's friend... Tired. Peace. Jesus. I am alone. I'm surrounded. I make decisions constantly. I wish I had chocolate cake here. I'm glad I don't. If you were me, what one thing would you change?
Comments
I have caught up with you via blog this morning. I miss going for breakfast and coffee and pondering. : ) I am glad to hear of the thriving, and the beauty. You are not forgotten, not at all. We'll have to find time - I'll come your way - to catch up face to face after the next few weeks of crazy. Love you lady.
Beth