God never gives you more than you can handle.. or does He?
I have a son with autism. Both he and our family suffer because of it. Lately our family has decided to be honest about how we are doing. It's not good. Because we are talking about it, our friends are trying to respond. One I get a lot is: "Well aren't you glad God won't give you more than you can handle?"
And I'm not mad at anyone for saying it. I just don't think it's true or helpful... on a whole bunch of levels. (If you have said this to me, I might have smiled and said "thanks" because I know that your heart is to encourage me... or that you didn't know what to say. So, thanks for saying something. Thanks for reaching out.)
First. God gives good gifts. Only good. Good and perfect. When we talk about depression, cancer, autism, earthquakes, death of a loved one... I don't believe for a second that God gives or causes any of those things. If it is not a good gift, it is not God. If I have a destructive situation, something that is stealing from me, something that is causing death, it's not God. When terrible things happen, it goes against God's design, it is in violation of his intentions and his character. And if it IS a good thing, you won't be patting anyone on the back saying, "So glad God didn't give you more of this than you could handle." Unless you are passive aggressive and very jealous. But you're not.
Second. When difficult and bad things happen, God is present. My favourite name: Emmanuel. But it didn't come from His heart. The amazing thing about God is not necessarily that He does great things. I think the amazing thing about God is that he takes things that didn't come from his heart, things that the enemy meant to steal, kill, and destroy us, and GOD can USE those things and make beautiful things come from it. The THING itself is not good. But good can come from it because of God.
Third. The verse that is most often quoted is I Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Because bad things don't come from God, this verse can't be applied to God not giving us more than we can handle. Here it says he watches what we are tempted by and provides ways of escape if we are willing to take them. I think within situations there are temptations to quit, to doubt, to fear, to become resentful and angry or bitter. God is watching to work with us, to be with us, to provide for us. In the end, I know that even though it didn't come from Him, I love that God is with us. Emmanuel.
Finally. When God DOES put opportunities in our paths, not only are they good, they are also WAY BEYOND our ability to complete on our own. I totally believe God has given me the opportunity to parent my son. God saw, God knew and put me here to learn, to love, and to grow... and He is taking something that is twisting my son's character, destroying his opportunities, interrupting his gifts, and putting a prison door on his joy, and because of his goodness and mercy and love for us, He is going to USE that to make something beautiful in us and through us. IT is not FROM Him, but he will work THROUGH it. And it is more than we can handle. Alone.
I think that's what life with God is supposed to be like. It's supposed to be beyond us. It's supposed to require co-operation. Relationship. Miracles.
I was having this discussion with a friend and she said, "Well then, how about this. 'I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength'." I smiled. Yep. Can't fight that one.
And that's what I have to say about that.
And I'm not mad at anyone for saying it. I just don't think it's true or helpful... on a whole bunch of levels. (If you have said this to me, I might have smiled and said "thanks" because I know that your heart is to encourage me... or that you didn't know what to say. So, thanks for saying something. Thanks for reaching out.)
First. God gives good gifts. Only good. Good and perfect. When we talk about depression, cancer, autism, earthquakes, death of a loved one... I don't believe for a second that God gives or causes any of those things. If it is not a good gift, it is not God. If I have a destructive situation, something that is stealing from me, something that is causing death, it's not God. When terrible things happen, it goes against God's design, it is in violation of his intentions and his character. And if it IS a good thing, you won't be patting anyone on the back saying, "So glad God didn't give you more of this than you could handle." Unless you are passive aggressive and very jealous. But you're not.Second. When difficult and bad things happen, God is present. My favourite name: Emmanuel. But it didn't come from His heart. The amazing thing about God is not necessarily that He does great things. I think the amazing thing about God is that he takes things that didn't come from his heart, things that the enemy meant to steal, kill, and destroy us, and GOD can USE those things and make beautiful things come from it. The THING itself is not good. But good can come from it because of God.
Third. The verse that is most often quoted is I Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Because bad things don't come from God, this verse can't be applied to God not giving us more than we can handle. Here it says he watches what we are tempted by and provides ways of escape if we are willing to take them. I think within situations there are temptations to quit, to doubt, to fear, to become resentful and angry or bitter. God is watching to work with us, to be with us, to provide for us. In the end, I know that even though it didn't come from Him, I love that God is with us. Emmanuel.
Finally. When God DOES put opportunities in our paths, not only are they good, they are also WAY BEYOND our ability to complete on our own. I totally believe God has given me the opportunity to parent my son. God saw, God knew and put me here to learn, to love, and to grow... and He is taking something that is twisting my son's character, destroying his opportunities, interrupting his gifts, and putting a prison door on his joy, and because of his goodness and mercy and love for us, He is going to USE that to make something beautiful in us and through us. IT is not FROM Him, but he will work THROUGH it. And it is more than we can handle. Alone.I think that's what life with God is supposed to be like. It's supposed to be beyond us. It's supposed to require co-operation. Relationship. Miracles.
I was having this discussion with a friend and she said, "Well then, how about this. 'I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength'." I smiled. Yep. Can't fight that one.
And that's what I have to say about that.
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