Not quite as I expected it..

I’ve searched long for community. Read about it. Gazed in on others in envy and wonder. Tried to figure out what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t seem to find my way into a community.

And then today I realized - I’m in the middle of it. 

I was bringing lunch outside to my kids. I put it on the picnic table and then a little guy from next door says, “oohhhhhh.. I love crackers!” I look at him. I love this kid. “There’s lots. Have one. Or two. Or three. Or four....” I say...  And he reaches for the plate, takes a couple, grabs the cheese, grabs the meat and makes himself a couple of cracker-n-cheese-meat-macs. His siblings come over, look at me and I nod. They dig in. Back into the house I go... for more crackers, cheese, and meat. 


And that’s when I realize, I’m in it.. community. .. and community is not this glamorous instagram worthy existence, it’s simply being willing to put out extra cheese and meat because I value the people around me. It’s getting rid of our hockey net because it bothers our neighbors that we’ve stored it on our front yard. It’s turning the sprinkler on and having 15 kids run like magnets to the water. It’s sharing sidewalk chalk that you just bought and having it almost all gone in a single day. It’s the neighbour playing catch with my son for half an hour, patiently explaining, “look at the ball... look at the ball.. oh Noah.. Look, here it is.. hold up your glove, look at the ball...”  It means our daughters being able to walk the neighbour’s dog more than daily (so we don’t have to get one).  It’s eight boys on our front lawn playing Beyblades, day after day after day after day after day. It’s a door bell that rings at just the right and just the wrong times with people who want to play, or want to come in, or just want to know what we are doing. 

For us community has meant giving up a large amount of preferred privacy. We have none (except for when we leave or when we put up our “DO NOT KNOCK OR RING” sign that we put over our doorbell for quiet time.. every afternoon). 

I’d like some property, with some goats and chickens... maybe a cow. I’d like to learn to grow my own plants. I’d like a pool and some space for my kids to run and climb, build forts and explore. But for now, I’ve got concrete, and community. 

It’s not at all what I expected and to be honest, requires a lot of sacrifice. But in a world where people don’t know their neighbours (or can’t stand what they do know), I can walk out my door with confidence that if I need to borrow anything from an egg.. to a van (literally... because ours ran out of gas and we have to be somewhere right now), if I need someone to talk to, a baby to hold, some basil or some mint, a latte, a laugh, or just to share some shade, it really is all right here. 

This quote came back to me: 

“The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.” 
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

It’s easy to look ahead, around the corner, and across the street to see what I don’t have. It’s easy to look at people I admire, but don’t know, and see what I’m not. But some days, I stand with my feet in the dust of my front lawn (can’t figure out how to get it to grow), and I realize that I actually have what I have always wanted. It's not easy, convenient, or comfortable, but it's good for us, right for now, and has incredibly enriched my life. 





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