Hard to believe. I believe and then I see, and become completely confused. I think God really gets a kick out of us. It's so strange being human and so limited, and yet insisting on believing in God, and believing God and all the limitlessness of things He promises. We, the limited ones become unlimited but we're just not sure how and where and what and when it all works. So we have everything we need for life and godliness, but it doesn't come by magic and it's not automatic and it's not a one time get yer holiness packet and never come back for more cause you have no need and you're all good.. It's just real and mysterious and hidden and heartbreaking and humbling.. even discouraging. All those "take heart" verses are so interesting... "because I have overcome the world." We will have trouble. We can optimistically say that things will definitely be terrible from time to time. Yay! But we can also be sure that God is unchanging in His love and care for us. I have always wondered at God's assessment of Abraham - who "In faith believed".. he's even described as "unwavering".. COME ON! The guy literally created two nations that grew to have a history of hate - an impossible chasm of intolerance towards each other. Ishmael. The son of his own doing. I wonder, I bet it's God's love that covers the multitude of MY sins that makes my convoluted, corrupted, diseased, faltering attempt at faith - actually unwavering. Me and God have this exchange. It's totally unfair and ridiculous in fact, but He takes whatever I'm able to muster up to him, and he transmogrifies it and it becomes useful! When I get to the end of my ability to believe and give him that, even my inability, He even does stuff with that. And who knows. What the enemy means for evil, God can work for good. The story of Abraham's two sons isn't over yet. I never thought of that. God is still working.

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