I am not used to this. Love is an always and no matter what comes kind of thing, so when does it start, why and how, and who decides? So strange how God made me to get so bent out of shape because some other imperfect, full-of-flaws, full-of-His-glory-person looks my way and stops. And in all this I continue to hear stories of mistakes, real people who promised with honest intentions to love with a covenant, yet are messing up dangerously. Painfully. I wish my failures would only ever and always just affect me, but the only way to ensure that is to only ever love myself and no one else.. If I make life about me and let no one else in... chances are good no one will be close enough to feel pain when I stumble. But the more people I love, the more deeply I love, the more that they will pay if I stray. O God. I know mercy, humility, honesty and forgiveness . . . that's all that has preserved me. It's sobering. And in all this, He promises to never leave us, never forsake us. There is still so much to hope for, to believe. It's still so beautiful. How often do we forget that when there is a multitude of sins, love's whole undertaking is to cover. If we want to truly love, we need His help. That's all there is to it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MAKING SENSE OF ANXIETY - A COURSE by GORDON NEUFELD - PART 1 IN A SERIES ON ANXIETY

Image
I've read the word "anxiety" a million times on facebook and instagram. I've heard plenty of friends tell me their kids struggle with anxiety. I've even (sorry) rolled my eyes at conversations where people used the phrase "my anxiety is so bad"... because I thought they were being weak. Again. Sorry.  I had NO CLUE what anxiety was or where it came from.  Then my daughter's behavior started changing and the word anxiety started coming up.  So I watched  Gordon Neufeld’s course: “Making Sense of Anxiety.” For the full course, check it out from the library or view his 60 minute talk here .  Here is what I've learned.  Anxiety isn’t bad. It’s basically our relationship to being alarmed.  We need attachment. Facing separation alarms us. BUT this is a normal part of human development. This is the way the brain was meant to develop. So good news.  Alarm is HEALTHY. Anxiety is NORMAL.  Gordon Neufeld...
Read more

AN INTERVIEW WITH AUSTIN - PART 2 IN A SERIES ON ANXIETY

Image
When I was growing up, I had a little buddy named Austin. He was super intense. It seems like his whole body would vibrate with intensity and he would pace back and forth when he talked. He talked non-stop about movies and agonized over whether he would take a role in a movie if the director required him to swear.  I thought he was so unique and honestly, awesome and hilarious. His mom would tell me stories about how he’d have meltdowns every day before school saying he “hated his stupid pants, and hated his stupid shoes” etc, and how he was terrified of kids with special needs.  None of us knew anything about anxiety. When Austin was turning 9, I made him a birthday card that turned into a book - it was about a boy who lost his “nine”  on his birthday - only to realize, it was a dream and nothing to really fear. Looking back and considering what I’m learning about anxiety, I find my story for Austin uncanny.  Unhealthy anxiety in kids is always based on a s...
Read more
The other day, I heard a grandfather speak of his grandson’s death with more honesty than ever I have heard. And it shocked me. He said, “My grandson, you know, he was not a good boy, he was a rebellious boy. He had a good heart, but he was rebellious.” It was a little bit hard to hear. I’m so used to hearing that we only lose the ones that the world is not worthy of. Amazing. I remember hearing a story about this family who’s son got into gangs and drugs. Mafia I guess. Eventually the son got killed. The police were familiar with him. He’d caused a lot of trouble to the community at large. But when he died, the family paid (or arranged for.. however it’s done) for a 2 page full write up of their son, stating how he was such a good boy and had lived such a good life. The next day a public outcry arose and letters flooded the newspaper, denouncing the man. Again, a full two page write up. But this time not so positive. Either his family was full of lies or they were unable to accept rea...
Read more