Be kind to yourself.. Really?

Be kind to yourself. 

Really? 

Such a funny little phrase. 
Is it legit, or is it one of those dangerously entitling phrases that send people off the deep end into self indulgence... focus on me, me thoughts, me time, me life.. I.. I... I...

The word “kind” is such an interesting one. It doesn’t mean “nice,” it’s more along the lines of “a good or benevolent nature or disposition.” Thanks dictionary.com. 

I have had kind people correct me, disagree with me, and even disciplined me. And I love them. 

On the other side of the coin, I’ve been around mean people. They don’t need to correct, disagree or discipline me. All they need to do is look at me and I get the message. LEAVE. And I do. 

So, “be kind to yourself.” What can it mean? 

I have an internal voice that talks to me almost non-stop about things like how I look, how I compare to others around me, what other people are thinking, what other people think I am thinking. I have to be honest, it’s a pretty limiting and, dare I say, judgmental voice. It is not, in the least, KIND to me. 

I have begun to wonder whether or not “be kind to yourself” is the same thing as “love your neighbor as you love yourself.” .... as you love  yourself. Love. Yourself. 

I have begun to wonder if my life would really change if the voice inside loved me and said kind words. True words of course. Lies are not kind even if they are meant to encourage. We’ve all seen the poor talent show contestants who have been lied to their whole life, told they were phenomenally talented, gifted, wonderful singers... only to have Simon shame them in front of the whole world. No, not that. That is not kindness. That is not love. 

What if I forgave myself every time I yelled at the kids. 

What if I found ways to compliment my appearance instead of criticize my belly and the size of my thighs?

What if I reminded myself about the ways I was good and kind to others today, instead of replaying instances where I misunderstood someone, or they misunderstood me and we had a stand off and I was rude and spoke harshly with them?

What if I thought about how precious I was to God and how unique our relationship is, how I am a treasure, instead of looking at other people who get promoted and put on display for their spirituality and then go grumping around about how God must not like me because I’m obviously not good enough to be in the “in-with-God” club. 

I think that might be what kindness is. I think it is gentle and looks for gold. It’s not an idiot that can’t see the flaws, scars and weaknesses. It’s like rain that falls softly, whispering encouragement, breathing life into whatever little plant it happens to land on, going deep and finding roots to nourish and strengthen.

Kind people are wonderful to be around. And people who are kind to themselves, have this resilience that I find so enviable. They fail, but it doesn’t cause them to curse or quit. It’s like they have a secret, that failure isn’t failure at all. It’s just another chance to learn. Another chance to have a chance... and maybe it’s even fun. 

So yeah. I think so. Be kind to yourself. And I will too. I’ll start by going home and painting some kind things on my mirror. Maybe a few of them. 


I just bought chalkboard paint today. Watch out walls. Kindness is coming.  


(all signs brought to you by Ease Designs @ Decades Coffee Shop in Chilliwack where I was writing)

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