I love it when kids are still young enough that when they’re caught at pretending, they don’t quit or get embarrassed. They just ignore you and keep on doing whatever it was they were at before you so ungraciously came by. There’s something precious about that un-embarrassment. I just saw the most beautiful thing at the park as I passed. Yes, there were kids pretending at some game where they were collecting tickets and buckling someone into a plane or ride at the fair (yes they looked at me but didn’t alter a single thing about their little magic game). But that’s not it. It was a dad with about 5 little girls. They must be 6 or 7 years old. 2 sets of ratty old pylons. A new pink soccer ball. Definitely no team, no league. Just a dad and 5 little girls. Maybe his daughter and their friends. He was leading them in stretching. Reach up high. . . Bend low and relax. Swing your arms. . . Some had their little outfits all ready to go – cleats, long socks, little umbro shorts and a jersey, but one little girl had jeans on. Maybe a long sleeved white shirt or something a little dressy, but there she was, stretching with the rest of her little crew. Beautiful. I wonder if he thinks he’s making a difference. I wonder if he wonders. I wonder if it’s him or his daughter who loves soccer. Or both. I wonder what his wife is doing, if she lives nearby and is peeking out behind the living room curtains, barely able to contain her smile. It’s soccer with me and my friends and my dad. And my new pink soccer ball. Sounds to me like someone’s heart’s getting full. Think she’ll grow up angry and resentful? Think she’ll end up cutting and doing drugs, forgetting to come home, telling mom and dad she hates them? Something about this picture tells me that’s not going to be the end of this story. I wonder how much money he’s losing by not working right now. I wonder if he’ll ever wish he traded time with his daughter for more time on work projects. Wonder if his little girl will be resentful because he spent too much time at home talking with her and the family instead of making money at work so they could go to Disneyland two years in a row. Wonder how many kids have a dad like that.

Comments

john said…
Wow. What a great post. I have two little girls and sometimes I don't spend enough time with them. This post really made me think. Thank you!
11:20 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MAKING SENSE OF ANXIETY - A COURSE by GORDON NEUFELD - PART 1 IN A SERIES ON ANXIETY

Image
I've read the word "anxiety" a million times on facebook and instagram. I've heard plenty of friends tell me their kids struggle with anxiety. I've even (sorry) rolled my eyes at conversations where people used the phrase "my anxiety is so bad"... because I thought they were being weak. Again. Sorry.  I had NO CLUE what anxiety was or where it came from.  Then my daughter's behavior started changing and the word anxiety started coming up.  So I watched  Gordon Neufeld’s course: “Making Sense of Anxiety.” For the full course, check it out from the library or view his 60 minute talk here .  Here is what I've learned.  Anxiety isn’t bad. It’s basically our relationship to being alarmed.  We need attachment. Facing separation alarms us. BUT this is a normal part of human development. This is the way the brain was meant to develop. So good news.  Alarm is HEALTHY. Anxiety is NORMAL.  Gordon Neufeld...
Read more

AN INTERVIEW WITH AUSTIN - PART 2 IN A SERIES ON ANXIETY

Image
When I was growing up, I had a little buddy named Austin. He was super intense. It seems like his whole body would vibrate with intensity and he would pace back and forth when he talked. He talked non-stop about movies and agonized over whether he would take a role in a movie if the director required him to swear.  I thought he was so unique and honestly, awesome and hilarious. His mom would tell me stories about how he’d have meltdowns every day before school saying he “hated his stupid pants, and hated his stupid shoes” etc, and how he was terrified of kids with special needs.  None of us knew anything about anxiety. When Austin was turning 9, I made him a birthday card that turned into a book - it was about a boy who lost his “nine”  on his birthday - only to realize, it was a dream and nothing to really fear. Looking back and considering what I’m learning about anxiety, I find my story for Austin uncanny.  Unhealthy anxiety in kids is always based on a s...
Read more
The other day, I heard a grandfather speak of his grandson’s death with more honesty than ever I have heard. And it shocked me. He said, “My grandson, you know, he was not a good boy, he was a rebellious boy. He had a good heart, but he was rebellious.” It was a little bit hard to hear. I’m so used to hearing that we only lose the ones that the world is not worthy of. Amazing. I remember hearing a story about this family who’s son got into gangs and drugs. Mafia I guess. Eventually the son got killed. The police were familiar with him. He’d caused a lot of trouble to the community at large. But when he died, the family paid (or arranged for.. however it’s done) for a 2 page full write up of their son, stating how he was such a good boy and had lived such a good life. The next day a public outcry arose and letters flooded the newspaper, denouncing the man. Again, a full two page write up. But this time not so positive. Either his family was full of lies or they were unable to accept rea...
Read more